Start at the end

One of my favourite questions to ask leaders, especially ones who are just getting into the flow of it, is this: What do you want to be known for? 

Imagine your team heads out for lunch without you. About ten minutes in, the conversation turns to what it's like to be in the team and to be led by you. What two or three words would you love to hear them use? 

Not what you think they'd say. What you'd love them to say. 

That gap, between what's probably being said right now and what you'd love to hear, is where your personal leadership work lives. 

Most people, when they start out, are burning through two big questions. 

• The first is about results: can I prove I can do this?  

• The second is about relationships: will people still like me?  

Both are real, and they both matter. I’ve seen plenty of leaders trying to answer both at once, without any clear sense of what kind of leader they actually want to be. The energy that takes spreads them thin and they end up running on fumes. 

Clarity of what you want to be known for doesn't solve everything. But it acts as a north star. Or perhaps more fittingly in Aotearoa, your Te Punga – the Southern Cross. Something you keep navigating by when things get tricky.  

It helps you make better decisions when you've got bouquets to give and when you've got axes to grind. It won't make you a perfect leader (nothing does), but it keeps you moving in the right direction. 

So take a minute. Write down those two or three words. The ones you'd love to hear at that lunch table. Don't overthink it. Your gut usually knows before your brain does. 

What do you want to be known for? That's your starting point. Everything else builds from there.